i think to myself is this time gonna be different

your words is wat i have dream of u saying to me

but to hear them coming out of ur mouth

has my prayers been answer

is this the being of a new chapter

im i really getting the only thing and person i always wanted                           

as i stand and watch you talk to me like that

i just think how i just cant do this anymore

u hurt me to much

i wasnt born perfect but born in sin

im bound to make mistakes n wrong decisions in life

n ur supppose to be there for me though it all holdin my hand

but instead u turned ur back well i cryed n slowly lost myself in my own world

i changed into a different person a baby girl that needed you to be there n help me

n u cretsize me n judge me for my past when u made similar mistakes

u never thought how hard it was for me goin though my shit

ur words hurt more then ur actions cause i never forget them they sink in 

n replay

i let myself fall to deep

the thought of us goin our separate ways hurts

i feel as if i cant let you go

people tell me i deserve better so why cant i want that for myself

it would hurt so bad to hard to bare

me without you

you without me

my love for you is killing me

who knew love kills

i wanna run far away n forget it all

cut off all the attached strings

i become insecure n feel as if im not good enuff for you

i ask myself what is it about me that you cant love

i wish

i dream

i pray

i hope

for us

BY SANTOYA

 i look in the mirror n c this girl i thought i would never be

through her eyes u can c all the pain n hurt she holds inside

she struggles to fully let the one she loves go

her love is endless as her mission to get over him is impossible

lost in emotion she wants to set free

memories haunt her

the most painful parts of her past is the ones that cant leave her

her baby was the only thing she felt she had

images of how it would have been if it was still alive inside her plays in her mind

she wishes she can change the past

she askes her self how long will the troubles in her life last?

her life isnt how she pictured it would be

she trys to figure out who she is and who she wants to be

this girl is me

BY SANTOYA

like a star u were my light in the dark ontill u went along n broke my heart

boy i dont know what to do u got me so confused

why would u hurtt somone who loves u

why woould u hurt someone who cares for u

why are u trying to push  me away boy am i not enough for u

BY SANTOYA

ur words reply like a never ending song,

each time pierces though whats left of my heart

i remember december when u where so cruel from the way u looked at me

to the words u spoke i hated that i stilll loved u

i hate tthe way u made me feel like waste, used, alone, embrassed,

i ask myself if ur words hurt so bad because some were true

or cause it maybe it makes my question if your feelings fo rme were true

what a bout when u said that u wish u never begin talking to me, or when u said

u hate me, you didnt care that u hurt me

u said u didnt mean all the stuff u said when u didnt even remember them

u didnt care wen our baby died u didnt care how i felt

i cryed endlessly i could have swim in all my tears

the pain hurt i felt pierce through my heart it was so hard to breathe

i also badly wanted to exscape from my dark thoughts

tha left me so sad

somedays was hard knowing the only thing i had was gone

the one thing at night that made me have peace

th only thing that made me feel okay it no longer made me hunger alot

it no longer made me tired all the time because it was no longer there

and i no longer had anything

i didnt want to eat no longer i hated going to bed cause

i knew it would fill my mind , memories cut through and tears wash down my face

BY SANTOYA

my breathing becomes slow n its hard for me to breathe

n i feel a kind of pain that comes from the whole in my heart

when i close my eyes the memories come back n the tears roll down my face

i hated music, somehow i knew it would remind me of you

i promised myself i wouldn’t go back to you,

i hated the way u made me feel

i was carrying apart of u inside me ,

i prayed everynight for you to understand

cold as winter my love prevented the hatred i had for you

i had those days the only thing i did was cry

ur words hit me so hard it felt as if i’ve been shot right in the heart

ur words were powerful, it never stop really playing in my mind

when i dont c u its easy to say my love for u isnt the same

but as soon, as im near u feelings rush back as if waves in a ocean

i try my best not to show it n keep u behind the wall to my heart

my mind would zone out at times bringing me to my past

i was told love isnt blind people are just stuipd well i dont want to be stuipd

it was a mistake to give myself to u

u tell me to follow my heart n dont listen to people but i dont know if

my heart would be able to take it again

i moved on trying to forget you, no one could for fiill that task

i started to listen to broken heart songz thinkiing it would help me to move on

i realize inside that im always gonna love you

u asked for me to forgive u n i guess i do

 now i want us to sart brand new

 i need us to take it slow this time n do things right

ur  what i want n need

BY SANTOYA

the memories i think of the most is the one that causes the most pain

my memories swallow me up

bringing me to my past that brought me to this point in my life

i feel like walls are closing in on me not allowing me to move

im trapped in this place of mistakes

like u im emotiomal but hides my emotions from my surroundings

ur face shows the hurt u hold inside

i hurt u in  ways i never thought i would

ur trust in me is lost

its ur love for me thats holds us close in this trouble time

i want so badly to prove to u that i wont repeat my mistakes

my words only mean so much

time will show my change

you try to protect me from experiencing the things u been though

i wish i could take back all the tears i brought you

we cant change what happened but we can move pass it

BY SANTOYA